With it being breast cancer awareness month, I feel I should write about my diagnosis and our mind’s ability to shield us.
I have mentioned a few times how cancer is a mental game. Well, I initially began with a game of poker. I carried a great poker face from May when I discovered the lump to November when I saw the doctor. I know we shouldn’t gamble with our health – this was the first six months of Covid ! We were gambling with a lot! My husband had just received an unexpected diagnosis of prostate cancer and there was only so much I felt I could deal with. Once we knew my husband was in the clear, I procrastinated for another month before I finally filled in the online consultation for the GP. Calling the GP and talking about the lump would have been harder than completing the online form.
When I saw the GP, I could sense she knew it was cancer when he said, “We will fast track you and in two weeks you will be seen by the specialist.” I knew it! As I stood there in shock, I remember thinking “How is my Chris going to deal with this? He hasn’t even had time to deal with his own diagnosis.”
Those two weeks were tough. I drank way too much wine! I didn’t tell anyone other than Chris! The more people that know, the more that ask, and I didn’t want to give cancer any room for discussion unless we had to. It’s one thing thinking you have cancer. And then my world was shaken to its core on 8 Dec 2020 when I was told “You have cancer”. 2 x cancer diagnoses and Covid in 12 months – what are the odds?? Reading that sentence, it sounds like a takeaway order – could I have some extra ketchup to sweeten the deal, please!!!
When I told the nurse I had waited to get checked, she was lovely and said it didn’t matter: “You are here now and that’s all that matters!”
So get yourself there, whatever you need to tell yourself, whatever you have to do. In my case, I gave myself a stern talking to and put on my Big Girl Panties. So, fill in the online form or make the call, and get checked!