Just want to get it off my chest …

The reality of a mastectomy …My silicone boob(prosthesis) is so heavy – it’s weighing me down both mentally and emotionally!!! URGHHHHHH!!! Wear the foam one you will all be saying – I do, but I am conscious that it lifts and looks uneven. So I must decide: do I go out confident and take the pain that will follow in my shoulder, or not?

I need new glasses – nothing to do with cancer, just my eyes are getting worse. Can I have contact lenses instead? Just so I don’t have to carry the glasses on my face! Of course, this has nothing to do with the glasses – it’s all down to the weight of my boob!

A year on from having my lymph nodes removed my arm has decided to swell up! My husband has nicknamed it “the claw” and my daughter refers to “my sausage fingers”! I’ve taken to only wearing 3/4 or long sleeve tops in the hope that my fat arm will not be noticeable. I put on a dress the other day, and instead of wondering is my butt too big in this, my arm was too fat for me to wear the dress!

I am thinking I should be stitching my own clothes with the growing list of what I need to cover and divert attention from and still feel confident!

In writing this blog I realise the solution is quite simple.  The “claw” I may be able to improve, though it will not go away. What I can sort out is my chest. I must stop procrastinating with my reconstruction and get on with it. Cancer is all about facing things head on! I just need to wrap my head around it and board the Reconstruction Train!